Mardi 28 août 2007 à 17:16

Alors ça y est, c'est fini.
La plage, le sable, les nymphettes, les morceaux d'algue qui collent à la peau sèche et salée, les regards lubriques et pleins de promesse, les langues qui passent sur les lèvres, les rendez-vous dans les sanitaires, les ultimes négociations derrière le local à poubelles. Bernard Menez est harassé, pas une, touriste ou autochtone, n'a accepté ses avances, d'une courtoisie des plus distinguée pourtant. Exceptée la grosse Yvonne, mais il n'était pas consentant. Ayant abusé de schnaps, et autres mojitos, il a malheureusement chû devant ce qui avait dû ressembler il y a de nombreuses années à la malheureuse perdante de Miss Camping 1956. Tel le cerf pris dans les phares d'une Fuego de 1988, il s'est laissé piéger et abuser sous le poids de la patronne du fameux Relais des Joyeux Chasseurs (une fourchette de bronze dans le guide Cuisine des Petits Futés). Bernard Menez s'en rappellera, et pour se venger, il vola deux cendriers et trois sous-verres aux dépends de la tenancière, espérant ainsi, la plonger dans le plus profond désarroi.



La fin de l'été aurait pu être prometteuse s'il n'avait pas été contraint de s'abriter maintes fois face aux averses imprévisibles et à la brise ambiante. Finis les jupettes et les seins nus, lorgner discrètement sur son transat bariolé lui parraissait lointain. Bernard Menez se consolait, se goinfrant de beignets, chichis et autres chouchous, proposant dans un anglais parfait aux jeunes touristes anglaises de gouter la précieuse sucrerie, en prenant bien soin, toutefois, de vérifier l'absence de toute autorité parentale environnante. Il se balladait aussi le long des côtes escarpées, observer à la jumelle, tantôt une mouette, tantôt une méduse, tantôt une moule, tantôt un camp de nudistes qu'il découvrait par le plus grand hasard, du haut de sa vigie rocailleuse. Bernard Menez pouvait contempler la nature pendant de longues heures. Avant de finir tremper, maudissant le déluge qu'il n'avait pas vu venir trop occuper à scruter ces morceaux de chairs roses.



Il est loin le bel été, enfilant imperméable, pullover, pantalon et mocassins, il se consolait en allant au laboratoire photo le plus proche, chercher les nombreux clichés qu'il avait pris à l'insu de ses voisines estivantes. Un rayon de soleil dans la pâle rentrée de Septembre. Les vacances étaient peut être finies, mais Bernard Menez n'en avait cure, rempli d'ambition et muni de ses précieuses photos, il avait le projet de monter l'un de ces nombreux sites amateurs qui illuminent le doux monde d'internet.


Par Fluor le Mardi 28 août 2007 à 19:59
Je sens des propos tendancieux dans cet article Mr. Menez.
Par Eyeless le Mercredi 29 août 2007 à 11:39
le manque de soleil de vos vacances est ma foi bien attristant, mais heureusement vous illuminez de nouveau la toile de votre presence Bernard, ravie de vous revoir parmi nous autre !

PS : vous pardonnerez le manque d accent dans la syntaxe, le qwerty n est pas mon ami. A part ca au japon il fait tres beau et tres chaud ^^
Par Awah.Foundation le Jeudi 30 août 2007 à 14:12
Hum un site d'amateur. merci monsieur Menez
Par PetrifiedEyes le Jeudi 30 août 2007 à 17:14
Hâte de voir les photos, en tout bien tout honneur, d'un point de vue artistique j'entends.
Par art.i.chaud le Vendredi 14 septembre 2007 à 19:15
voila quelque temps qu'il n y a plus d'article ici
pour un fan comme moi (d'un homme aussi parfait que toi) c'est dramatique
ma star serait-elle morte?
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